Game of Thrones Power Rankings: Week 2

Welcome to the debut edition of our Game of Thrones Power Rankings. Just like the wide world of sports, there’s a lot of different “teams” pursuing a common goal of ultimate power, some of which are faring much better than others. From first to worst, I’ll analyze each faction’s most recent activities, and whether or not that puts them closer to smashing their enemies than everyone else. This is still a work in progress and I don’t necessarily have my heart set on this format, but we’ll start with this and see what happens from here. Check back each week for the current set of rankings, as well as my review of the most recent episode.

1. House Lannister

At first glance, the Lannisters appear to be as unstoppable as ever, and their firm possession of the Iron Throne along with the emergence of the Tyrells as key allies makes them more deserving of the top spot in these rankings than all the other houses. However, take a closer look and you may see some cracks in the armor, mainly that no one in this family can stand one another. It’s up to Tywin to channel his inner Phil Jackson and hold everyone together, but I think even the “Zen Master” would recognize Joffrey as a lost cause at this point.

2. House Stark

The King in the North hasn’t lost a battle against his enemies. His army just captured the castle of Harrenhal, which is an absolute shithole in my opinion, but it’s yet another small victory over the Lannisters. But Robb hasn’t avenged his father’s death, he hasn’t rescued his sisters or found where his brothers are, and his home is a pile of rubble. Being scattered across the wasteland that is Westeros is about the last thing you want during a war, but it’s the hand that Robb’s been dealt and he’ll have to overcome a bit of adversity if he wants to win.

3. House Tyrell

I like the Tyrell’s style; support your top choice for the Throne and lend him your smoking hot daughter and all your soldiers. If he gets killed, then quietly shift your allegiance to your second choice for the Throne and hope that he’ll forgive you for being traitors in the first place. Oh, and he gets your smoking hot daughter too. I can’t say the Tyrells are the most honorable bunch, but their strategy has been pretty effective so far.

4. The Wildlings 

The Free Folk are vast in number, have giants and wargs on their side and the only thing standing between them and the Seven Kingdoms is the Wall, which at the moment has hardly anyone defending it. So what is their disadvantage? Mainly the fact that they’re still beyond the Wall, and that puts them dangerously close to the White Walkers. Of course, those guys only show up in season premiers and finales, so they’re probably safe for now.

5. House Targaryen

There was a noticeable lack of dragons in last week’s episode, but I haven’t forgotten about the Khaleesi and her band of ship fearing savages. We’re 22 episodes into this show and geographically speaking, Daenerys is no closer to returning home and restoring prestige to her family name than she was in the pilot. In these rankings, owning a few dragons and being a total knockout will always keep you close to the top five, but it would be nice if Dany laid waste to a couple of armies already.

6. House Baratheon

Technically speaking, King Joffrey’s surname is ‘Baratheon’, but I don’t there’s anyone that thinks of that smug little shit as anything other than a Lannister. Meanwhile, Stannis murdered his brother last season, took his army for his own, only to watch his forces get smashed by Tywin and the Tyrells. Unless Melisandre is popping out shadow babies by the thousands now, it appears that Stannis is severely outmanned and in desperate need of some allies. The problem with that is Stannis is a complete dick to everyone, including his allies. Davos can attest to that.

7. The Night’s Watch

Let’s be honest, at this point we’re just all assuming that the Night’s Watch is totally screwed. They’re like the Oakland Raiders of Westeros; they wear black, they haven’t been respectful in a long time and the only recruits they get anymore are degenerates and thieves.

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