Survivor Kaoh Rong Episode 6: The JV Squad

Come on in guys for my Survivor Kaoh Rong Episode 6 review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

People are often perplexed about my love for Survivor. They think this makes me a strange, reality TV obsessed, obnoxious and terrible person. They don’t respect the show as real TV entertainment, instead they believe it to be dramatic garbage that isn’t worth anyone’s time or brain cells. Obviously these people are wrong and I’m going to use this most recent episode as an example that this show has real character driven depth.

Survivor is a massive beast to edit. You have 24 hours of 39 days recorded by numerous cameraman, catching every little conversation that is going on between 18 ish players. That’s nearly 1000 hours of footage that they need to whittle down to about 14 hours of entertainment. Talk about an overwhelming job.

Which makes this last episode even more amazing. Through the first five episodes of the season we were given three very strong and important characters in Tai, Debbie and Jason. They had the most confessionals and seemed to be having the largest impact on the game. This last episode the editors seemingly turn it over to their JV squad. We learned a lot about Nick, Michele, Julia and Aubry, players that were invisible as of last week. And they managed to make them entertaining and compelling television. Now going into a presumed merge next week, we have mostly fleshed out characters in everyone besides maybe Joe. This isn’t reality TV garbage, this is damn good storytelling.

Alright click below to continue reading and I promise to tell you about my modeling days. Spoilers below.

I can get loud too! WHAT THE F***? (AKA the quote(s) of the week)

Everything out of Debbie’s mouth. “I used to do some modeling” or “She might go drown herself” or her love of Nick, AKA Adonis. How can you not love this woman?

Oh my god these guys are so dumb! (AKA this episode’s worst decision)

I’m really struggling here trying to decide if Aubry made a poor decision by getting rid of Peter. I initially called it a bad move because it puts the Brains down in numbers at the merge and it isolated Aubry and Joe. But the more I think about it, the more I’m okay with it. First off, instead of putting the Brains down in numbers you can think about it as it takes the target off of the Brains’ back going into the merge. Next, it doesn’t really create a divide between Joe and Aubry because Joe wanted to get rid of Peter the entire time. He should be relieved, maybe a bit annoyed but mostly relieved. Besides all of that, Scot, Tai and Julia really forced Aubry’s hand by standing so strong together. What was she going to do? Keep forcing a tie until either, A. Scot or Tai blink and switch sides or B. go to rocks? No, it’s not worth going to rocks during the last tribal before the merge. Which means I am giving Aubry a pass because she was put in a really tough situation. This might come back to blow up in her face but I don’t really see what else she could have done.

Instead the episode’s worst game play comes from Peter. Listen bud, I actually think you had the right idea going into this episode. You knew that the three non Brains would be sticking together and they could easily get you out. I like that you went with them to join their side as a hail mary attempt to save your game. So why did you back out? Because Joe intimidated you with his questioning? You had the right move turning on Joe but instead you flip flopped back and forth and ended up being a threat to everyone. Listen to Dan Foley, Flippers. Never. Win! No, I’m joking, please don’t ever listen to Dan Foley.

I’ve been bamboozled! (AKA what surprised me this episode)

Last week I laid out the strategy for each tribe. Chan Loh, win immunity and Gondol, vote out Julia. I was surprised that I actually almost nailed a prediction. I was so so so close! In the words of the great Chicken Morris, “Damn!”.

Aside from that, I gotta give props to Aubry because this was a huge and awesome surprise:

JULIA

PETE

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Who is this jackass? (AKA who has no shot to win and why?)

Nick. He had a strong ish episode. Debbie loves her Adonis. Plus the four Beauties are about to be reunited, so everything should be looking up yeah? Not quite. The way he spoke to Michele about strategy came across very poorly. Even Michele said she doesn’t usually allow people to talk to her that way. Nick’s poor social game, plus his Adonis physique is going to come back to haunt him come post merge.

Stick to the plan (AKA who is in a good position if they just stick to the plan?)

Well we have four Beauties, four Brains and three Brawn and we have five Gondols and six Chan Loh. By all accounts this is a damn even merge we are headed into. The only obvious plan I can foresee is that the Brawns should stick in the middle and let the Beauties and Brains fight for their affection. Which, if Scot’s Gondol connections mean anything, we could see a Brawn and Beauty hookup leading to the Pagonging of the Brains.

This is my island! (AKA who is running the show)

Look, going into this merge this is a lot of people’s island. I don’t see anyone with any sort of hold on the whole game.

With that said, Scot has the most connections and knowledge and is probably in a great place under the radar. So I guess he technically has the most power out of everyone.

FORGET YOU. GO HOME. GOODBYE (AKA my last words for the fallen Survivor)

Throughout the season I kept rooting for Pete to be a classic Survivor villain. In the end he was just, “meh”. He came off as a douche and for some reason I always felt like he wanted to come off as a douche. Like he was trying too hard to be the villain but he was really just a tool. Sorry Pete, I will probably forget about your existence on the show in a couple of days.

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