Power Ranking Ramblings: Week 7

Our rankings come to you at a point when the Indians are playing the Cubs in the World Series. What a time to be alive.

http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/17813507/nfl-2016-week-7-power-rankings-new-england-patriots-minnesota-vikings-seattle-seahawks

  1. New England Patriots, 5-1 (Last ranked 2) Jesse – The Tom Brady revenge tour is a lot less exciting when you realize that this is the same tour that the Pats have been going on for the last fifteen years. Unless of course you’re a Pats fan, in which case you are probably creaming yourself every Sunday. And that’s just gross, guys.
  2. Minnesota Vikings, 5-0 (LR: 1) Kevin – I was going to blast ESPN for dropping the undefeated Vikings below the one loss Patriots but I actually like the idea of these two swapping back and forth every week. Besides, as impressive as the Vikings have been, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. Look at the five teams they have beat. You have two pretenders dressed in the preseason as contenders (Giants and Texans), two teams they caught at the right time (Packers and Panthers) and the Titans. Looking ahead they have, maybe, four solid matchups (Eagles, Cowboys, Cardinals and Packers in Lambeau). All I’m saying is this might be a great regular season team but an early out come playoff time.
  3. Seattle Seahawks, 4-1 (LR: 5) Jesse – If it’s true that ESPN compiles these rankings based on who would win in a head-to-head matchup, and if the refs ignored the blatant pass interference on Julio Jones last week (they did), then there should probably be a 33rd spot for the officials. In today’s NFL, it seems more often than not that close games are determined by the guys throwing the flags and not the actual players. No wonder the TV ratings for the No Fun League have been going down.
  4. Dallas Cowboys, 5-1 (LR: 7) Kevin – Hey everyone, the Cowboys are (allegedly) good again. America’s team is rising up as Trump promises to make America great again? Is that a coincidence? And if not does that mean the Cowboys will be forgotten about come November like Trump? Because that would be great.
  5. Denver Broncos, 4-2 (LR: 4) Jesse – Once again on the subject of methodology, the Broncos should not be ranked above the Falcons. They couldn’t do it two weeks ago and I doubt very much that my favorite team would prevail if they faced off with Atlanta again this weekend. Eventually the defending champs will right the ship, like they always do, but right now they seem painfully lost and disinterested.
  6. Atlanta Falcons, 4-2 (LR: 6) Kevin – So these rankings are based on who would beat who in a head to head matchup? And yet the Falcons, as Jesse pointed out, are behind the Broncos, who they beat, and the Seahawks, who they should have beat if it wasn’t for the officials blowing it. Alright.
  7. Pittsburgh Steelers, 4-2 (LR: 3) Jesse – Fun fact. My boss is a Steelers fan. He correctly predicted that they would lose to the Dolphins last week, even though I figured that Roethlisberger and co. would cruise. Apparently, even Steelers fans expect their team to play down to its competition.
  8. Buffalo Bills, 4-2 (LR: 16) Kevin – The Bills beat the Cardinals and Patriots back-to-back, no respect. The Bills beat the Rams and the 49ers and they are suddenly a top ten team.
  9. Washington Redskins, 4-2 (LR: 22) Jesse – Suddenly the Redskins are 4-2. Two NFC East teams are in the top 10. I don’t know this world anymore.
  10. Green Bay Packers, 3-2 (LR: 9) Kevin – ESPN doubts Aaron Rodgers on Tuesday and then Aaron Rodgers tears up the Bears on Thursday. I like that guy.
  11. Kansas City Chiefs, 3-2 (LR: 15) Jesse – Somehow, the Chiefs have three wins. I’m not sure how they wind up with a decent record every year, but they do.
  12. New York Giants, 3-3 (LR: 17) Kevin – DOES ANYONE REMEMBER WHEN ESPN HATED ODELL BECKHAM JR? OR AM I CRAZY? Ah-hem…because they love him this week with his crazy antics.
  13. Arizona Cardinals, 3-3 (LR: 10) Jesse – Can’t wait for the Cardinals to get to four wins and for ESPN to tell us that they’ve turned their season around. They are still going to get owned come playoff time, people.
  14. Oakland Raiders, 4-2 (LR: 12) Kevin – Great the Raiders have the Jaguars and the Bucs in the two games before they play the Broncos. Which means the Broncos have to go to Oakland with everyone talking about their impressive 6-2 record. Meanwhile the Broncos could very likely be a “disappointing” 6-2 at that time. Just great.
  15. Philadelphia Eagles, 3-2 (LR: 11) Jesse – Just a few weeks ago, I was telling Kevin that the Eagles might be Super Bowl worthy. This and a few other exchanges have led him to believe that I’m secretly an Eagles fan. Readers of these rankings think I love the Vikings and my friend thinks I”m down with Philly. Awesome. Just awesome.
  16. Cincinnati Bengals, 2-4 (LR: 8) Kevin – Finally ESPN bites the bullet and drops the Bengals. Don’t worry though, they have the Browns up next so I’m sure ESPN will rocket this team to the top in no time.
  17. Houston Texans, 4-2 (LR: 18) Jesse – Some guy named Bronn is apparently coming back to play his old team this week. Not much of a story. Nothing to see here.
  18. Baltimore Ravens, 3-3 (LR: 14) Kevin – What’s that smell? Ugh it must be the Ravens last three games.
  19. San Diego Chargers, 2-4 (LR: 24) Jesse – I would make jokes about the Chargers’ two wins if one of them wasn’t against the Broncos.
  20. New Orleans Saints, 2-3 (LR: 25) Kevin – The Saints win two games and now everyone thinks they have momentum? Come on ESPN, Drew Brees isn’t going to be putting up 40 points every game.
  21. Detroit Lions, 3-3 (LR: 20) Jesse – I played Matt Stafford in two leagues last week in fantasy. It was pretty miserable, so actually playing the Lions probably isn’t that much fun either. Hence their three wins.
  22. Tennessee Titans, 3-3 (LR: 26) Kevin – Whoa, the Titans are seriously high on this list. I usually forget they exist. This week though they are an impressive (for them) 22. They must have beat a really good team, let me take a look…Oh…they beat the Browns. By 2. Alright, whatever, you can have it Tennessee.
  23. Carolina Panthers, 1-5 (LR: 13) Jesse – Not good if you are ranked below the Titans. I’ve never seen such a severe Super Bowl hangover.
  24. Indianapolis Colts, 2-4 (LR: 21) Kevin – Why do the Colts make everything so hard? The Peyton Manning era was hard. Now the Andrew Luck era is harder. Come on guys, you have been gifted with franchise QBs. Stop making us feel bad for you.
  25. New York Jets, 1-5 (LR: 27) Jesse – So instead of making moves to procure a different QB in the offseason, the Jets spent their time trying to woo back Ryan Fitzpatrick. Six games into the season, they have already benched him for Geno Smith, the QB they’ve been trying to replace for two years. Maybe they should’ve spent that money on something else?
  26. Los Angeles Rams, 3-3 (LR: 19) Kevin – Guys we did it! Jeff Fisher is 3-3 for the 4th time in the past 5 seasons! What a great accomplishment.
  27. Miami Dolphins, 2-4 (LR: 29) Jesse – Lucky me. I get to write about not one, but two Florida teams this week. Adam Gase may not be winning much but at least he gets to work on his tan a lot.
  28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 2-3 (LR: 23) Kevin – A bye week was much needed for this Tampa Bay team. They’re in a three way race with Miami and Jacksonville for the saddest Florida football team.
  29. Jacksonville Jaguars, 2-3 (LR: 30) Jesse – Blake Bortles was the third overall pick in his draft class. He may not have been worthy of that selection but he probably knows where the sun rises and sets. A guy who didn’t know that went first overall this year.
  30. Chicago Bears, 1-5 (LR: 28) Kevin – Damn things aren’t looking good for the Bears. At least they have the Cubs right?
  31. San Francisco 49ers, 1-5 (LR: 31) Jesse – Things have been looking awful for the 49ers, and people in San Francisco actually don’t have the Giants at this point. Thank fucking God.
  32. Cleveland Browns, 0-6 (LR: 32) Kevin – Damn things aren’t looking good for the Browns. At least they have the Indians right?

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