Survivor Game Changers preview

As I slowly sift through all the amazing (and overwhelming) preseason content for Survivor: Game Changers (the 34th season of the popular reality show) I realize something about my fandom. I’m obsessed with this show. It’s my favorite form of entertainment without a doubt. I listen to podcasts and I follow multiple Survivor writers. Which means when they do an All-Star season (only the 4th All-Star in their history) I like to bathe myself in all of the pregame content. Why? Because it is pure fan service for us hardcore fans. We have obsessed about these people for years and years. We know way too much about them. We have replayed their best moves in our minds like a basketball junkie would replay everything Lebron James does. This is like the NBA All-Star game and the Pro Bowl all in one, except with a major difference, these players care about this game. This game will change some of their lives and legacies.

And to be honest, these All-Star type seasons are best when you know every detail about the players. That’s because there is a high sense of surrealism to the idea that a person from Season 2 is playing with people from Season 33. It doesn’t make sense, it shouldn’t be happening and we should feel absolutely spoiled that it is. But I can’t help to wonder how a “casual” fan will enjoy a season full of people they either don’t remember or never saw play in the first place. And that’s why I am here today.

I want to take new fans, casual fans and any other type of fan into my world of hardcore fanship. I want to set your plate for why you should be excited for this season. I want to help you differentiate between these players so you can decide who you want to root for without feeling left behind. But I will warn you, there are huge spoilers below. This cast has players from 18 of the 34 seasons including three winners. Then again if you are planning to watch this season you will run into these spoilers anyway. But I wanted to give fair warning.

Take a jump with me for a deep dive into who is playing and my predictions for season 34 of Survivor. Continue reading

Walking Dead Death Rankings – Season 7 Ep5 Preview

Welcome back to Pegboards’ Walking Dead Death Rankings!

Jesse and I have been doing these rankings since season 3. Why? I really have no clue. I guess they keep us mildly entertained while we are stuck watching a show that is mostly disappointing every week.

My initial vision for the rankings was to provide comedic commentary on a show where lots of people die. Unfortunately the rate of death on this show is probably the same rate of how often our jokes make someone laugh. Very low.

With that in mind, we are going to switch things up slightly. Instead of forcing ourselves to write a joke for every single meaningless character we encounter on the show every single week, we will only provide commentary on characters we actually have something to say. Which means if Tara is ranked #5 we no longer have to beat a dead horse and ask where the hell she is. We can just ignore her. Just like the writers of the show have.

In addition we are adding a new way to score points. Walker kills. Yes, that’s right, we are now going to individually rank each and every Walker that roams the world of The Walking Dead. No, no, I’m just kidding. You can put the gun down Jesse. We are simply going to guess how many Walkers will get killed each episode. Whomever gets closest that week gets…I don’t know, 5 points that week. And whomever gets closest for the season gets…10 points. This way we can ensure the point total is moving along instead of staying stagnant.

With that in mind please let us know if you have any feedback or ideas to improve this weekly article in the comments below! Or just say ‘hi’. That would be really nice of you.

(Remember, every week Jesse and Kevin will provide rankings based on who they think will die next. The further down the list, the more likely they are to die. They get points based on where the character is on our list. For instance, if Rick dies this week then I will have four points and Jesse will have two points.)

Click here to catch up on our previous hilarious insights.

Click below to see our score. Warning: TV spoilers start now (no comic spoilers):

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Survivor MvX Episode 2: Dead Man’s Chest

Come on in guys for my Survivor Millennials vs Gen X Episode 2 review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

Wow, what an episode of Survivor that was. I almost watched it twice but then my sick wife glared at me and I decided once was enough…for now.

We have a lot to digest this week so keep eating your sugar cane and take a jump with me. Spoilers below.

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The Art of Roy

I could spend a whole blog calling Patrick Roy a quitter or selfish. I could spend another whole blog defending the man who backstopped the first major championship for the state of Colorado. I could kick and scream and bitch or I could sell you the idea that the Colorado Avalanche are better off. But I’m not going to do that.

To put it simply, Patrick Roy stepping down as the Avalanche head coach sucks. The timing was awful and, while it was a poorly kept secret that Roy was a below average NHL coach, it still sucks to lose a man who bled burgundy and blue.

Yes from a coaching stand point the Avalanche are probably better off. And perhaps it was inevitable and perhaps they dodged a (PR) bullet by not having to fire their former star goaltender at some point in the future. But if you came here for me to tell you that everything is going to be alright or to help guide you through who the Avs are going to grab as their new coach, I’m sorry but you came to the wrong place (this might give you some clarity though).

As excited as I am for the future of this franchise, thanks to the likes of Nathan MacKinnon, Gabriel Landeskog and Matt Duchene, I am also very scared. And it’s not because St. Patrick took his puck and went home. It’s how Roy went about quitting that concerns me.

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Are the Nuggets Stuck in Basketball Purgatory?

Since I am living in Cleveland at the moment I decided to make a deal with Jesse. I’m jumping on the Cleveland Cavaliers bandwagon until either A. I move away from Cleveland or B. The Denver Nuggets make the playoffs. Since I’m only planning on staying in Cleveland for 2 years it looks like the former option will come first.

Why such a gloom analysis of a young Nuggets team? It’s simple really, the Nuggets have been stuck in purgatory. No, not the place where everyone hung out in season 6 of LOST (spoilers?) and not the place your Catholic Priest says dead babies go to. No, they are stuck in basketball purgatory which is the worst place to be in the NBA.

You see in basketball, unlike other some other sports, you are only as good as your best player (unless your team is coached by George Karl and your best player is Ty Lawson (!!) and you somehow manage to beat the franchise record for most wins in a season but even then your team decides to clean house and start over because…reasons??) Rarely does a team sustain success without a (or three) star player.

Don’t believe me? Why don’t we turn to the best player in the NBA over the last 13 seasons, LeBron James. For years this dude dragged some terrible basketball teams to the playoffs, one year he even dragged them to the Finals! Eventually he saw the rival Boston Celtics gather three superstars on their way to two Finals appearances. James decided this was a good idea and found himself some superstar teammates in Miami.

If the greatest player since Michael Jordan decides he needs more superstars in order to be successful in the NBA then it stands to reason that is the best path for any team right?

Now this is where it gets tricky. To get a superstar you have three options: hope your team either wins the NBA Draft Lottery, woos a superstar in free agency or trades for one.

And how do you win the Lottery? You play really, really bad and get a little lucky. Don’t want to tank? Well then you better hope you have a superstar on your roster in order to attract that other superstar to your team because he is not signing without one or two. Don’t have a superstar and you don’t want to tank? Well I hope you have accumulated a ton of assets. Even that’s probably not enough. You also need a superstar somewhere in the league that is upset with his current situation (like how Melo was upset that Denver wasn’t New York).

So there you have it. It’s easy right? If you don’t have at least one superstar, get one, and then get some more. And there are many avenues to do that right? It’s so simple. Except it’s not. Sometimes teams get stuck in the middle. They aren’t any good and have no shot at competing for a championship. But they also aren’t incredibly bad either. This middle ground is pretty infuriating as a basketball fan. You want your team to make moves to get better but those moves come with a lot of risk. You feel destined to forever be the team that easily miss the playoffs but not quite bad enough to have a real shot at the lottery. You start feeling jealous of teams that are tanking. You look at their 12 win season and you imagine what it must be like to have hope for your future. It’s a dark place really.

Which leads me to where the Nuggets have been the last few seasons. Purgatory. They haven’t been bad enough to tank a season (and were too stubborn to do so under Brian Shaw). They haven’t had a superstar built in to attract another to sign here. And while they’ve had some attractive assets thanks to the Melo trade there hasn’t been a good opportunity to trade for a superstar.

As we go into the offseason I can’t help but wonder, are the people in charge of the Nuggets ready to take this team to the next level? Or are they happy moving sideways in purgatory?

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Walking Dead Death Rankings (S6 Ep15 Preview)

Welcome back to Pegboards’ Walking Dead Death Rankings!

Every week Jesse and Kevin will provide rankings based on who they think will die next. The further down the list, the more likely they are to die. They get points based on where the character is on our list. For instance, if Rick dies this week then Kevin will have four points and Jesse will have two points.

This week Kevin continues to ramble about his ‘Abraham is a figment of Eugene’s imagination’ theory. Meanwhile Jesse vomits continuously.

Click here to catch up on our previous hilarious insights.

Click below to see our score. Warning: TV spoilers start now (no comic spoilers):

Continue reading

Survivor Kaoh Rong Episode 3 Review

Come on in guys for my Survivor Kaoh Rong Episode 3 review where I use classic Survivor quotes to assess the latest episode.

This week we saw Brawn battle over an idol, Beauty choke the chicken and Brain outwitting each other.

Click below and I will tell you how smart, good looking and lovable I am. Spoilers below.
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